Dear News Media: No Really, "Pro-Assad" is Not A Thing
Publisher: JessiPerry
Date: 2018-03-10T18:11:14-05:00

You guys, I think I need to stop paying attention to the news. It's driving me completely batty. You see, I've discovered a minor problem that makes the whole thing a little harder to digest than it should: I can remember major news stories for longer than two nanoseconds, which is far longer than I'm supposed to. It's an ugly quirk of mine that complicates my ability to digest prevalent narratives. Case in point: Syria.


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